5 Empowering Lessons I Learned about Life from TBI Survivors at Brain Injury Network

I had the pleasure of working with a transformative non-profit with locations in Fort Worth and Plano called Brain Injury Network, BIN for short. If my three semesters of practicum and internship at BIN taught me anything, it is that to be a survivor of a traumatic brain injury (TBI) one must be a warrior. One would think as an acquired TBI survivor myself that this kind of observation would have been gleaned from personal experience, but I have found that it is in the presence of others we are able to recognize truths that tend to go unnoticed in the echo chambers of our own minds. 

Members come to BIN for a plethora of reasons. For some it is with the goal of returning to work, as BIN follows a clubhouse model in which the members run all aspects of the day-to-day operations of the non-profit.  For others it is with the desire to continue physical, occupational and speech therapy when insurance has denied any additional coverage.  Not only do members come to BIN for a variety of reasons, their TBI origins vary, as well.  For some it is due to a brain tumor, some malignant  and some benign.  For others, their life changed in a matter of milliseconds and their stories include everything from near fatal car crashes, motorcycle accidents, gunshot wounds, skydiving accidents, and other life-altering falls and accidents.  Strokes are another common source of TBIs.  In fact, strokes can occur at any age and even in vitro causing a TBI.  The members at BIN are a variety of ages from 18 to 70 and come from all different backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures and travel to the Plano and Fort Worth clubhouses from all over the metroplex and beyond.

No matter why or how an individual joins BIN, it became patently clear that they stayed for the camaraderie, sense of purpose and perhaps most importantly, the normalization of their past and current lived experiences.  A common mantra at the clubhouse is, “only another brain injury survivor can understand a brain injury survivor.”  I, too, found great comfort in being with others like me.  It was a sense of belonging I had not felt since I began my TBI journey back in 2017.  While I would not be here if it was not for the unwavering support and love from my family, they also cannot truly understand what living with a TBI on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis is really like.  But, when I walk into BIN, a bit of that weight is lifted.  Being there has the miraculous ability to transform the longing for what was before the TBI, into authentic belonging with others in the present moment. 

The profound power one reclaims when we turn our pain (physical, emotional and psychological) into purpose cannot be overstated. All the members at BIN had to fight for their lives.  Surviving a TBI in the face of often slim odds, medical missteps and mistakes, additional critical injuries, health and medical complications, infection and disease, takes a warrior.  In the words of British poet William Ernest Henley’s famous poem Invictus, as neophyte members of BIN, our “head is bloody, but unbowed”.  

Following are the top 5 lessons I learned from my experiences at Brain Injury Network that I carry with me and now inform the foundational purpose of Empowered Counseling of Texas, LLC which is to show individuals their warrior within and ability to not just overcome life’s most difficult trials, but to thrive because or in spite of them.

1. Growth and healing comes when you transform your (physical, emotional, psychological) pain into purpose, passion and personal power.

2. To thwart longing, seek belonging.

3. We are all tougher than we think and there is a miracle in each of us.

4. Perception is reality. If your reality is unbearable or undesirable, change your perspective.  If you simply can’t, fake it ‘til you feel it!

5. Obstacles are often cleverly disguised opportunities to take a new or different path. Trade skepticism for curiosity.

   

   
   

   Invictus 

   by William Ernest Henley (1849-1903)

   
   

   Out of the night that covers me,    

   Black as the Pit from pole to pole,  

   I thank whatever gods may be    

   For my unconquerable soul.   

   
   

   In the fell clutch of circumstance  

   I have not winced nor cried aloud.  

   Under the bludgeonings of chance    

   My head is bloody, but unbowed.   

   
   

   Beyond this place of wrath and tears    

   Looms but the Horror of the shade,

   And yet the menace of the years    

   Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.   

   
   

   It matters not how strait the gate,    

   How charged with punishments the scroll,  

   I am the master of my fate: 

   I am the captain of my soul.