Top 12 Myths About Trauma: How Trauma Is Often Misunderstood by Survivors and Their Loved Ones
Trauma is an extremely complex and deeply personal experience, and there are several misconceptions that can lead to misunderstanding, stigmas and barriers to healing. In my work as a counselor, I have found that discussing, working through and processing trauma is often made more difficult when certain erroneous assumptions or ideas about trauma are held. Here are the 12 most common misunderstandings about trauma I come across during therapy.
1. “Trauma is only about life-threatening events.”
• Misunderstanding: Many people assume that trauma only refers to extreme or catastrophic events, such as war, natural disasters, or physical/sexuall abuse.
• Reality: Trauma can result from any event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, regardless of whether it is physically life-threatening. This can include emotional or psychological abuse, neglect, bullying, a divorce, loss of a loved one, or even witnessing an event that causes distress. Psychological trauma can stem from seemingly smaller or more personal experiences that affect a person deeply.
2. “People should be ‘over’ trauma after a certain amount of time.”
• Misunderstanding: There’s a common belief that people should heal from trauma after a specific period, or that if someone hasn’t moved on, they’re not trying hard enough.
• Reality: The healing process from trauma is non-linear and varies greatly from person to person. Trauma can affect people in different ways, and long-term effects can linger, especially if the trauma was prolonged, repetitive, or not properly addressed. Some people may experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other lasting impacts, and healing can take years or a lifetime.
3. “Trauma only affects those who are weak or vulnerable.”
• Misunderstanding: There’s a stigma that trauma only impacts people who are “weak” or overly sensitive.
• Reality: Trauma can affect anyone, regardless of their strength or resilience. It doesn’t discriminate. In fact, people who are typically seen as strong or high-functioning may be more likely to suppress their emotions or avoid seeking help, which can worsen the long-term effects of trauma. Resilience is not about being impervious to pain; it’s about how one copes with it, and trauma can affect even the most resilient individuals.
4. “You must have clear memories of a traumatic event to have been traumatized.”
• Misunderstanding: People often believe that trauma survivors must have vivid, detailed memories of the traumatic event for it to be valid.
• Reality: Some individuals may not remember the event clearly or may experience dissociation—a defense mechanism in which the mind blocks out or distorts memories of the trauma. In fact, fragmented or repressed memories of trauma are common, and the lack of clear memories does not mean the trauma didn’t occur or doesn’t have an impact.
5. “Trauma leads to permanent damage or dysfunction.”
• Misunderstanding: There’s a misconception that trauma permanently damages a person’s ability to function or live a fulfilling life.
• Reality: While trauma can have long-lasting effects, people can heal and recover over time. Many survivors of trauma lead fulfilling, healthy lives, often with the help of therapy, support systems, and coping strategies. The brain also has neuroplasticity, meaning it can heal and adapt after trauma, especially when the individual receives appropriate care and treatment.
6. “Trauma survivors are always visibly distressed.”
• Misunderstanding: People often think that trauma survivors must always appear visibly upset, anxious, or distressed.
• Reality: Trauma is not always visible. Many people with trauma go on to appear perfectly fine on the outside while struggling on the inside. Survivors may hide their emotions, avoid triggers, or cope in unhealthy ways to mask their distress. Complex trauma, such as ongoing abuse or childhood neglect, can be especially difficult to detect because the symptoms are often more subtle or internalized.
7. “Trauma is only about the event itself, not its aftermath.”
• Misunderstanding: There’s a tendency to focus on the trauma event (what happened) rather than the aftermath—how the individual processes and reacts to it over time.
• Reality: The impact of trauma often lies not just in the event but in the ongoing effects it has on a person’s mental health, behavior, relationships, and worldview. The way a person internalizes the trauma and the coping mechanisms they develop play a huge role in the long-term consequences.
8. “Everyone reacts to trauma the same way.”
• Misunderstanding: People often assume that everyone who experiences the same traumatic event will react in the same way.
• Reality: Trauma responses are highly individual. Some people may experience PTSD, while others may show resilience, and still others may cope with the trauma in ways that are not immediately visible. Factors like personality, social support, pre-existing mental health conditions, and coping skills all influence how someone responds to trauma.
9. “Trauma always leads to PTSD.”
• Misunderstanding: There is a belief that everyone who experiences trauma will develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Reality: While trauma can lead to PTSD, not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop it. Many factors influence whether someone develops PTSD, including the nature of the trauma, the person’s support system, and their coping resources. Resilience and adaptive coping can reduce the likelihood of PTSD, and many people recover without developing it.
10. “Talking about trauma will make it worse.”
• Misunderstanding: Some people believe that discussing trauma will only re-traumatize or make the individual feel worse.
• Reality: While it can be painful to talk about trauma, processing and expressing it with the right support can be a crucial part of healing. Therapists, especially those trained in trauma-informed care, help individuals process trauma in a safe and structured way. Avoiding the trauma or bottling up emotions can actually make things worse over time.
11. “People who experience trauma will always be traumatized.”
• Misunderstanding: There’s a belief that once someone has experienced trauma, they will always be “damaged” or permanently affected.
• Reality: While trauma can have long-lasting effects, healing is possible. Many survivors go on to build meaningful lives after trauma, especially with appropriate treatment, support, and coping strategies. Trauma doesn’t define a person’s entire life, and people can grow and find post-traumatic growth after their experiences.
12. “Trauma is only a mental health issue, not a physical one.”
• Misunderstanding: People sometimes think trauma only affects the mind and emotions, not the body.
• Reality: Trauma has significant physical effects. It can disrupt the autonomic nervous system, leading to chronic stress, muscle tension, digestive problems, and other physical ailments. Somatic therapy and other body-focused approaches often help people process trauma through the body as well as the mind.
Overall Takeaway:
Trauma is deeply personal and can affect individuals in vastly different ways. The most significant misunderstandings often arise from oversimplifications of what trauma is, how it affects people, and how recovery works. Addressing these misconceptions can lead to greater understanding, more compassionate responses, and better support for those experiencing trauma. It is especially important for us to not compound and intensify the lasting effects of trauma, by judging our own or others’ response to trauma. Blame and shame, especially when self-directed are among the most powerful detractors to the path of healing.
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